Return to You

 I want to compose a good love letter and dedicate it to you. I want to entice you with the words that I’m going to put there. I want them to touch and melt your heart. I want to win your trust again. I want you to fall for me once more.

            Thoughts are pouring down on me. And they are so wise---they come in battalions and at erratic haste. I couldn’t catch them. I do not know what to grab first. Should I MISS YOU be a striking opener? Or should I begin it with CAN YOU FORGIVE ME? Or maybe, I should simply say I LOVE YOU?

           My intent here is not to stir you but to make you understand that I’m consciously trying to change. I did foolish things back then. I let my immature side controlled me and gradually spoiled our relationship. I underestimated the effects of proximity and few conversations. I often took you for granted whenever I’m with my friends and other people. I relied too much on my belief that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together anyway-- so let’s just spend it to other things. I made you cry. I made you feel vulnerable. I hurt you so bad. And I let you feel it until the day you gave up.

            I am so sorry. I knew that you allowed your world to revolve around me. In the long run, I became your world. And I was not able to reciprocate even half of your effort. I became so selfish. I knew how much it meant to you just to hear me say HOW’S YOUR DAY? But even that, I eventually took away from you.

             Would it be possible for you to forgive me? I would understand if you are still mad. And devastated. And bitter. But I do hope that the old you are still there. I really want to return to the safest place I know-- right beside you. Can I go back now? Will you let me in again? I know, you have been guarding your heart since then. Perhaps, you already caged the little sweet thing so nothing could crush it the way I did. But as time heals the wounds, some people who caused those wounds change. You know why? Because they realized how much they had lost. And if they continue being the losers that they have been, they would end up wasting the rest of their lives…maybe with the wrong person…or maybe with no one. Lucky me, I have been one of those persons who learned their lessons well.

            I would not promise things for now. All I’m begging is another chance. It does not matter if I am not your whole world anymore. Just a chance to be part of it once again will be enough. I am coming back. This time, I am so willing to do it for good. 

            Will you love me again? Can you love me again?