Nobody here knows that I am not feeling well. I mean, emotionally well. I have never been this insecure and depressed. The past few weeks have been giving me so much troubles in thinking what really lays ahead of me. I am worried and lost right now. I even detached myself from almost everybody. I think, in this way, I could find myself. Perhaps, it would be easy for me to know what I really want if I temporarily shut my door to everyone. It hurts me every time they ask how I am doing. My pride could not accept that I am still bumming around. I could not accept the truth that, like other people, I am in the middle of confusions. And that I am really bothered. Look, I am already 23 yet my life revolves around the same things: writing my stuff; spending the day in front of the tube; Internet; reading books; and daydreaming. Nothing significant.
I am tired of all these shit. I am getting sick of familiarity. I want some changes. I want more responsibilities. I want to get out; to experiment other things beyond the usual. But how would I do that? Where the hell would I start?
Could you help me find my way there? Could you, at least, teach me the right way to start? You know, I am willing to take any chances. But at this moment, I am clueless of everything around me. One wrong move will result to another fall for me. And I do not want to see it happen. I have been into so many plunges already. I could not afford to have another one. Please be considerate to me this time. Just lead me to the right way; and I will start from there, on my own.
Whoever and wherever you are, I am willing to follow you. My mind is already exhausted of worrying. My heart is gradually dying each day. My soul is slowly being emptied. You see, I cannot afford to lose anymore because there is nothing to lose in the first place. This is going to be a huge favor, and you are all I have right now.
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