Falling Star

Love doesn't just make the world go round. It also gives the world different shapes, and allows each shape to move at different phase and time. When the world evolves, so are the people in it. The following events are inspired by the story of my two orgmates, and this is his point of view.

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Part I

I'm falling. Hate to admit it but it's goddamn true. Bad trip nga eh--- dun pa sa taong di naman talaga pwede. In my dreams, man, in my dreams. Ngumiti ka lang naman eh. Tapos ayun, pinaikot mo na mundo ko. Syet, baduy! Eh sa totoo naman...me magagawa pa ba ko? Ewan ko sa'yo. Kung kelan okay na ulit defenses ko tska ka naman mag-i-exist. Tagal na nga akong di nagpapakita sa'yo, hoping that one of these f***k**g days, I'll get over you. Pero hindi eh. Baligtad yung effect sa 'kin. Ano bang meron ka?! You're not the most wonderful person i've met. Neither you're the nicest, most caring, most sensitive friend I've had. Pero ba't nga ganon?! Napapa-fall mo ko ng ganito. Paprangkahin na kita---hirap na hirap na ko sa'yo. Sobrang suppression na ginagawa ko. Haven't seen you for almost 1 or 2 months, i guess. And i chose to do that. How much more when i see you again this sembreak?! Dagdag hirap na naman? Lam mo unfair ka na. I'm wounded as hell. And all I wanted right now to get over you as soon as possible. Kasi kelangan. After all, one of us will leave soon...

Part II

I miss you so much. The hell with me. Why am I wasting my time missing someone who misses somebody else? As time passes by, I've become this pathetic loser...trying to disillusion myself about this f***ing love thing. A friend once told me: "Para kang tanga?! Reklamo ka nangg reklamo pero wala namang effort sa part mo na kalimutan sya." See? Even other people have started to notice the changes in me. Asan ka na kaya ngayon? Last night, I really wanted to call you. I was about to dial your number. But then, I changed my mind. Text na lang kaya kita? I don't know why all of a sudden I got this guts to bombard you with the messages I've long kept in my outbox. As i punched the "send" button, the phone turned off. LOW BAT. I guess, it was a sign...

Part III

I saw you last night. You wouldn't imagine how you made me happy...even overwhelmed. You never changed. Still the same person that I admired and longed to talk to two months ago. I was evenmore surprised when I had this urge of talking to you. I walked toward you. You were looking at me, smiling. I hate that look and I hate that smile. They started everything. But as I was about to smile back and begin my long-time memorized lines (sincere lines, for that matter), somebody held your hand and kissed you. Then suddenly, the happiest day of my life had become the saddest...I was crushed. Dead hurt. But I simply walked away. This morning, as I woke up...I remembered what happened there last night. In full details. good to know it was just a dream.

Part IV

Di ba sabi ko ayoko na? Nabasa mo ba? Kung di, siguro naman may ilang tao nang nakabasa nun. Okay lang. Sabi nga, at least my words didn't fall on deaf ears. Yun na nga---sabi ko, ayoko na. Ang hirap mo pa lang mahalin. Para akong nakakahon. Parang kinakahon. Lam mo ba yung feeling na yon? Ah siguro hindi. Kasi pag nagmamahal ka, may nagri-reciprocate nung pagmamahal mo. Buti ka pa. Buti pa sila. Buti pa "siya". Lam mo, ito na yata yung pinakamahabang sembreak ko. Ewan. Kung kelan ko kinukumbinsi yung sarili ko na tama na 'tong katangahang 'to, lalo namang lumalala. Kagaya ngayon---eto na naman ako...trying to find and mix words just to indulge myself in the thought of being madly inlove with you. Pero lam mo, may good thing rin namang nangyari sa 'kin. Kahit na napraning ako nitong sembreak, masaya pa rin ako. Totoo pala yon. Yung you can't define precisely what and how to really fall in love unless you're into it. Now I understand why couples become so mushy, and so childish, and so vulnerable. How I wish all people could experience the way I'm feeling right now...hurting yet enjoying. I'm too grateful to be human.