Goodnight

Last night, I had a dream. I wasn't familiar with the place. All I can remember is that you and I were sitting next to each other and in deep conversation. Our hands were clasped. You were looking at me as I talked. Then, you leaned your face towards mine and whispered: "Why are you giving us up?" You didn't wait for my reply. You simply held my hand and bowed your head.

I knew you were crying but you were just trying to hide it away from me. I gently pulled my hands away from your grasp. Your sobbing was contagious. I was about to cry. But then, I heard myself saying: "This isn't us anymore." After a few seconds of silence, you looked at me, held my hand and gently kissed me--- for the last time. Then, you stood up and walked away.

When you left, I felt numb...empty. I got confused. Would I cry? Should I stop you? Is it over? Are we really over? Last night, I had a dream. But when I woke up this morning, I realized that it wasn't a dream after all.*

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Written sometime in January 2001.