Tailor-made

My coffee breaks for the past few months were spent mostly with some closest friends, listening to their stories on almost ruined or soon-to-be-ruined relationships. Meeting up at different coffee shops, experimenting on diverse blends, but hearing almost the same resignation-- parang ayaw ko na. Uncertain and disheartening.

Coincidentally (or probably not), they were able to say it after five or six years of being with their respective partners. And they ended up with that choice after trust, convenience, plans, and all other factors necessary to build a solid groundwork for a supposed long-lasting relationship had been actually built. Sayang. But "sayang" would not be enough basis to finish off something as indispensable as that. The same way it should not be the grounds of staying that long in a commitment (but ironically and more often than not, it is). When asked why, their responses fell in any of these three reasons: (1) they have found someone else; (2) they simply fell out of love; or (3) they are already tired. I was hoping to hear someone says "I'm (or we're) not happy anymore" because for me it is the bottom line of every break-up. But no one ever did. I guess, no one wanted to go through the bottom line in the first place because it might sound a little selfish and ruthless (and it is).

Looking back, I, too, did not consider being "not happy anymore" as trigger condition. I had thought of reason number three, which led me to reason number two that guided me, in the long run, to reason number one, as my conclusion. Did I think of "sayang"? Maybe, for quite some time-- enough to weigh things out and make every judgment a surefire. But then, I thought "Worth it ba?". NO, not anymore. And I believe I have made the right decision.

Too much caffeine, I suppose. Or maybe I have just related my rationalization to my friends'. Perhaps, I have just been impressed (but not in a so-good way) by their determination to continue with the relationship despite being treated badly and knowing how one-sided their situation has been. Impulsive use of audacity. I wish I understood them better.

Based on their stories and some others (including mine and his), I have learned that it is still ok to be "unhappy" once in a while in a relationship. But if the unhappy times have already outweighed the happy times or if the scene is already miserable from any angle, it is about time to re-evaluate.

We discuss things like these from time to time, especially every after a coffee break with a friend. And we both agree that whatever happened to them can happen to us IF AND ONLY IF one of the two factors we believe makes a commitment works disappear. Love and will, one cannot last without the other. We need these two since ours is and will always be a work in progress.

*****
This is wonderful as loving goes...
- As Lovers Go, Dashboard Confessional

We're doing well, and so is everything. *kugos*

Down South: Cebu

Taking pleasure in the 1-hour fastcraft ride back to Cebu from Tagbilaran, then a 3-hour bus ride to Hagnaya
plus an hour boat ride to Kota Beach, Bantayan Island. Now---THIS is summer. Worth another visit.

Wrapping up our trip down south exploring Cebu City. Highlights on Colon Street, Basilica de Sto. Niño, Magellan's Cross, museums (though closed on Mondays), Abuhan Dos (for a sumptuous dinner), and of course-- Bo's Coffee. Thanks to Tin and Miray's travel pointers and Lonely Planet notes. =)

Overheads: P3,378 (2nd day) + P3,956 (3rd day) + P2,683 (4th day)

Down South: Bohol

Kicking off the trail with a 2-hour fastcraft ride to Bohol from Pier 1, Cebu City.

Down to Loboc for the Loboc River Cruise.

Up to Carmen for the Chocolate Hills.

Finishing our Bohol hop with the tarsiers, Loay Church, Baclayon Church, and Blood Compact Site.

Overheads: roughly P4,600 (1st day)

Peppermint Mocha To Go

Triple Treat

One of the best mornings I've ever had.

It's not only because of waking up with that hug. It's also because of waking up knowing I had been understood no matter how unfeeling my action was. Trust me, I had good intentions. It's just that my way of making them happen sucked big time. I was too careful not to hurt anyone, most especially you, yet I ended up with rash decisions-- lousy ones. Consequently, everything was left hanging in the air. Or it appeared to be.

I'm so sorry if you felt it again. 'lam ko, ambigat nun. No more third time, I promise.

Mi luv yah.

===

Aside from patching-up, we had our feet pamper today. We tried Val's suggestion, the authentic Thai foot massage in City Walk, Glorietta 3. They offer foot massage, foot spa, foot scrub, and the combo of the three--foot nirvana. The damage was P650 per person (if you have their promo coupon, you can avail it for 580), and the whole thing lasted for an hour and nine minutes, 21 minutes earlier than what has been printed on their list, with complimentary iced tea or ginger hot tea and half-body massage. I was somehow satisfied with the massage service, but not with the chitchat the personnel made from time to time and their lighting (dim, but not dim enough). Hmmm..he was not so pleased with his foot nirvana. Aaay...=(

Next time, we'll just try Solemates in Eastwood or Footloose in Tomas Morato.

===

*****
happy 16th. *kugos*

"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love.
If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death.
And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."

Spree on Foot

*****
Weekend stop at Avilon Zoological Park in Montalban, Rizal. Saturday, nice weather.

P26 FX fare from Philcoa + medium traffic. P20 tryc fare + rough road. P200 entrance fee and P96 packed lunch + 7.5-hectare zoo. A half-day time off with flamingoes, arapaimas, sunbear, puma, kangaroo, wild boars, mini horse, jaguar, crocs, cobras, among others. And of course, birds-- lots of birds.

P400 more or less per person for this eco trip + quality time under your own steam, not bad. =)

Drift Off

i usually browse a broadsheet newspaper cover to cover, starting at page 1. personally, it is the easiest, most convenient, and most sensible way of deciding which articles to read. or, whether to read at all because sometimes it feels like everything is just one and the same. but yesterday morning, i unconsciously picked up the entertainment section, jumping right at the cartoons page. for no reason.

i realized that this morning. i was tempted to check that page out again (which had already been lying unperturbedly in our bathroom sink). and here is what has soaked me up in one of the comic strips:

"if the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, that would suffice."
-- meister eckhart

i'm not sure if it has anything to do with my sudden break from routines. but i'm glad i leafed through it. no spiritual effect whatsoever, though. the line just sounded real, plainspoken. some sort of reaffirmation of the last talk we had.

*****
i'm not feeling really well today. this cold-- makes me feel a little worn-out. i miss my bed. but with "stolen" and "comfortable" on my playlist, in repeat mode, the night would not be that bad. i could steal a nap later on.

(yung last song dahil kay tin, ang shiftmate kong may pagka-lost din. dini-deny lang naman nya eh. =P )

Up For Grabs

it was a nice surprise last night. he arrived at home, smiling, and prodding me to make a guess. he went upstairs, then returned with three tickets to the final match. excellent seats by the way (reminds me of the last PBA game we watched). i thought we would be watching the bout four, probably five hours delayed telecast (which is fine by me, hehe). at malamang may mga spoiler na nun (which is not so fine).

hmm..three more days-- and it would be a great date with Nay.

excited na, aynaku. rooting for pacman obviously.

*****
honestly, my guess was right. i just didn't blurt it out. baka kase mali, ma-disappoint ka rin. besides, the probability of getting tickets was really low. kaya nga impressive eh. thanks, kulet. *kugos*

===
the verdict: it's southpaw over orthodox! our guy ended the pacquiao-morales trilogy, knocking down the Tijuana native thrice before the latter had conceded defeat at 2:57 of round three. the match was surprising and fast. it was not just inside the thomas and mack center that the pacman crowd took pride with every knockdown and unanticipated right punch. it was everywhere.

and we wrapped it up with rice toppings and pancit canton from chowking. what a day... =D

Carbo Flight

We had a carbo-loaded late lunch in a traditional Italian way yesterday at Amici di Don Bosco, the almost unnoticeable and unpretentious cafeteria-style resto in Arnaiz Street, Makati. Love their quattro formaggi. We had four left over slices, which we finished off at dinner -- that was after six hours-- yet the taste was consistently divine and we both agreed to that. And the pasta with their house sauce-- hmmmn, al dente. Plus their dine-in gelato in numerous flavors. Taste-tested three different single-scoop flavors: lemon (which was too sour for him--notice the 2nd row 4th pic taken just after he guzzled his first spoonful), chocolate marble (which we both digged), and cappuccino (which I liked and he somehow liked). Too bad, there was no more pistachio when we got there at the gelato counter. Considering the size of each serving and the taste, the price is relatively fair. Or should I say justly expensive? Price range is around P120-300 for pizza/pasta/other dishes and desserts. Most, if not all, servings are good for two. For the gelato, it's P35 per scoop. Certainly, worth a second try and more.

That day. Delizioso. =)

*****
Happy 15th, mio migliore amico, mio solamente uno..*abbracciare*

Sundown

i feel bad. snapping at you just like that for no particular reason.
and even if i had one, it would have been too shallow. i was too shallow.
a lousy excuse to react that way. the impulsiveness in me again.

i'm so sorry.

*****
thank you for putting up with me (and for always trying). *kugos*

Just The Thing

It would've started "Once a upon a time" and ended "A sad story, don't you think?"

It's the line from one of the short stories in Haruki Murakami's The Elephant Vanishes. I bought it from National Bookstore in Eastwood as my incentive to myself for another month (another payday). In short, wala lang talaga-- trip trip lang. I was just lured by "An elephant vanishes; hunger drives a couple to rob McDonalds; an insomniac wife wakes in a different world," printed at the back cover. I didn't realize at first that the book is a series of short stories (until I got a bit confused of the transitions and Raymond informed me that the book is indeed all shorts.)

Anyway, after dinner, I made myself a comfortable reading nook at the edge of the bed and started browsing the previous pages (sort of a recap-- a habit like watching the preview of an earlier episode of Monk or Prison Break). He was busy chatting with his officemates-- reading out loud, from time to time, the content of their popup messages. Then, he asked me if I would recommend the book I've been reading for two weeks now. I said yes, with a comme ce comme sa expression because sometimes I'm into the book and other times I'm not. But I have my favorite story, I confessed. "Kwentuhan mo na lang ako". So I started passing on some details. In my own version, of course. "Kwentuhan mo ako nung nasa book. Sige na..." This time, he was more adamant (you know when someone won't stop unless he gets what he wants? ); he even turned off the computer and sat beside me. Curious and begging.

So I did. I started reading aloud "On Seeing the 100% Perfect Girl on a Beautiful April Morning". He smiled. I was a little diffident at first because he might find the story sappy (BUT it's NOT sappy; sappy stories don't end with "A sad story, don't you think?"). Eventually, I got the hang of it-- pausing every so often to moisten my throat and modulate my voice. He would beam at times and make side comments, and I would continue my storytelling. It went on for half an hour, more or less.

"A sad story, don't you think?

Yes, that's it, that is what I should have said to her."

And that was what I told him. It was the first time I read someone a story-- word for word. It was awkwardly amusing. =)

*****
I also have my "own particular favorite type" of a guy (one with broad shoulders and tall, or clean fingernails and toenails; or who does not slouch when he stands or walks; or who sports mild perfume; or who can play the piano; or who speaks confidently but does not go overboard, or who plays basketball; or who can carry faded straightcut jeans and semifit tee nicely; or who eats a double-scoop ice cream cone like it's the last one he can have and yet finishes it neatly, without any drop on his shirt) and catch myself looking at him. But the liking stops there.

As for my 100% perfect man, he's unmatched. Basta...akin na lang yon. =)

Goodnight.

Better than Caffeine

I thought I knew everything about my favorite blend-- what the barista often asks me "The usual?" the moment I step inside. But that night, my cup of choice had a peculiar aftertaste. Suprisingly, I was not even sure what had caused it. And the effect has been there for two days now.

==

Another suprise.

After the basketball game, which his team claimed victory with 25 points lead, we were supposed to watch The Departed at 11:15 PM, Eastwood cinema. Though the game ended earlier than the previous ones, it was already past the screening time. So we just decided to walk. I'm not familiar with Makati, especially at night (plus the fact that I'm not really good at directions in general). I remember we passed Rufino Tower, RCBC Plaza, and Rada Street. Then, we went to Greenbelt, hoping for a temporary asylum (well, actually, my feet were already aching). But the place was almost empty. At 12:30 AM. Strange.

We headed back to Eastwood. Manong taxi driver made an unsolicited yet friendly comment, telling us that people prefer Malate or Metrowalk these days. Oh..k.

We opted to stay there until the sun went up. And like "the usual", there were [untold] stories spilled out. I did not even need caffeine to wake up my mind. Neither did he. And that was the longest and strongest cup we had together. Pronounced, slightly sharp but never bitter.

Then, some things changed. Things we decided to leave with the coffee cups.

==

But it is still my favorite blend-- because it has always been. Roughly for 14 months. I can take the aftertaste. And any other things that come along with it.

*****
" So then I took my turn
Oh what a thing I've done
And it was all yellow."

We've grown so much in one day.

Nine

to the mushiest and most loving couple i've known,
happy 28th wedding anniversary!

*****
13 months and counting, kulet...
more little things to come, eric. =)

Kugos

*****
very much so.
happy anniversary, buddy ko... =)

Hammer Time

making a promise does not always require confidence to keep it,
but more of enough gathered courage to commit.
confidence is gained eventually. it's like making a bet;
you're not 100% sure your side will win.
but having strong faith it will, you stick to it with all your guts.

==
come and go. that's how things work these days. you know why?
because we're too focused on getting the big picture.
too absorbed with the numbers and figures.
but what's the point of all those flashy records
if you're losing your assets-- one by one?

oh come on. take a break from statistics.
focus on people. listen to reasons. meet halfway.

*****
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

ym status...
aouie - i've put my trust in you
dropsofjune - pushed as far as i can go
broe - i've tried so hard, and got so far
banzilla - but in the end, it doesn't really matter..
moo - Stepped out
(your dawgs in d' house will miss yah moo.)

tata: lagi na lang umuulan...

ay syet nakaka_LSS. hmm..buti pa si solo marunong nang mag-sit. effective kasi talaga yung reward system eh. miss ko na nga pala yung isang tao dyan. gusto ko nang mag-august.

Square One

even after a tall cup of strong white chocolate mocha, you're still half-awake. the pending papers are still, well, pending-- waiting for mouse click in your notepad's to-do-list-before-june-30. you try to grab as many work loads as you can, like kobe bryant when he scored 81 baskets, a career high, in the previous nba playoffs. the only difference is that his was much exciting than yours (and he has the lakers fans to back him up). you observe that the person sitting next to you is banging his head. good for him. you look for an unused headset (since you don't have one) and randomly choose your playlist for the day. you tap your fingers, distracting the person sitting infront of you, probably contemplating the number of cases the team has received or the upcoming fight of pacquiao. pretending not to notice what you might have caused, you simply glance at the window as if it's your latest downloaded 3d screensaver. and there it is-- clear sky, dull skyline. perfect.

==

time lapses are frequent this month. almost everyone is in the same mood-- cautious about the time and paranoid about communication (and false impression). some are standing impatiently at the ticket line. others just hit the road by impulse, with little preparation and without any warning. the temper is somehow contagious. so what you do is fashion a fallback plan just in case you fall short on pulling things up (and since you've been missing some small details lately). but for now, you try to enjoy coldplay's second album, track number four. thank god for the spare headset.

you'll be logging off in a few hours anyway. you may want to watch superman, or just crawl back into bed.

*****
“Running in circles, chasing our tails…”

Si Solo

*****
macho gwapito...=D

In-thing

Things have been a little crazy lately. Crazy in an amusing way, I suppose.

We've been taking this "parenting" stuff seriously. We've become avid lurkers of various forums and other Web sites, researching for recommended diet and vets. Nakaka-OC yung details. Our "dates" now usually involve pet shop visits in different malls, doing some window-shopping for a shampoo, supplements, teether, toys, and other accessories. We almost familiarized ourselves with every shop in Cartimar finding a comfy crate, as well as the whole stretch of the Mall of Asia looking for Animal House and Bio-Research (even though it was our excuse to get there, hehe). Our previous individual paycheck has been allotted mostly on his needs, and our time on him. Medyo naging homebody kami ("domesticated", to grace's vocabulary :P). But absolutely, no regrets. And our playful little guy has been giving us relief since day one.

[We’re still undecided about the dog food brand. But we’re 80% on Canidae. Hopefully, we’ll be able to make up our mind within the day.]

*****
They say that "beagles are hard to train”.
Well, so far, he responds to "Solo, come…" The rest? Hmm..bahala na si batman. =)

Off-topic.. noticed the newly opened Kopi Roti branch at the Mall of Asia. Reminded me of their coffee, which tastes good and costs relatively cheap. And their kopi bun-- a soft coffee-flavored bun with butter inside-- hmmm...tempting. They have branches along Katipunan Avenue and Tomas Morato. Worth a try. ;-)

Solo

*****
home, after all. been keeping us occupied lately. =)
four months old seven days from now.

Rims and Hover

*****
IX. Tuesday was a detour. ;=)
hmmm...kanya-kanyang trip lang, hehe.