Tuesday, June 22, 2004

My Divine Comedy

At age 24, how well did you know yourself?

Let me give you a hint.

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For normal days (that is if I'm on a day shift), I usually sleep around 11 PM to 1 AM, checking first my cellphone for some last-minute text messages or simply texting some persons I remember out of the blue. Between sleep and waking-up, I always dream; but most of the time, I couldn't remember what my dream is all about.

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My diet is directly proportional to my physique and the latter is inversely proportional to my health. I seldom get sick and I really hate it when it hits me. I loathe medicines and everything that has something to do with them. I don't love rice very much but I eat it nonetheless out of habit. I love dishes with tomato sauce and potatos. I consider coffee as the drink of the gods. And given a hypothetical situation that only one food in the world will remain, I hope it will be chocolates or pizza.

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My hobbies make up 60% of my life. I take pictures seriously; I have hundreds of them still waiting to get their space in a scrapbook. And when I take my shots, I prefer that my subject is not aware and everything is spontaneous. I love movies and making movies. I am willing to spend big (I mean BIG) bucks just to add another film for my collection. I don't mind not having a good sleep for a production and post-ptoduction. I faithfully attend film festivals. I don't dream of becoming a director but rather a cinematographer and film editor. I have been wishfully thinking to be part of Pixtar or the makers of The Matrix, Lord of the Rings, and the like. I sketch--- my usual subjects are hands and eyes. But up to now, I still haven't finished a perfect pair. I can strum and pluck some chords but I am so lazy going through the details. So, most of the times, I fake the given chords. And oh-- despite my height, I can hustle and make good baskets.

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I don't believe in love at first sight. Ewww. Nor I believe in destiny. Everything is a matter of choice, either yours or the other persons'. Thus, I'd rather trust a guy who says"You are my choice" than a guy who says "You are my destiny". I'm not comfortable with courtship because it's superficial. And it's a bluff. I see nothing wrong in friendship turning into an intimate relationship. It is more genuine, anyway. I have met four good men and never been with a chauvinist pig, thank God.

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I can stand people who are ma-angas, they just have to prove themselves that they're for real. I don't care if a person has a very absurd individuality or a different gender preference. And I really DON'T CARE of the person's past. I don't rely on first impressions. I talk and smile to strangers.

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I am sensitive but not vulnerable. I'm not at ease with swearing but, under certain circumstances, I do. I can lie, I lie-- but I'm a lousy liar (believe me, you will notice if I do). I can be so mushy and so shallow. I STILL have a low level of contentment.

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I despise politics. PERIOD.

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I am a passive Catholic but my faith can take me anywhere.

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I worship Neruda, Wong Kar Wai, Sappho, Mike de Leon, Gaiman, Dali, J.D. Salinger, and Gabriel Garcia Marquez. And yes, his royal buttness, Brad Pitt.

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I am a bit Obssessive-Compulsive. I am childish. I am impatient; I don't want to wait too long. I am quite reticent. I don't want to argue. So, when someone's mad at me or pissing me off, I disappear for awhile until everything cools down.

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I can't cook. I can't swim. I can't juggle.

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At age 24, these and ONLY these are the things that I know about myself. I have yet to figure out the rest.

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Pasintabi kay Dante.