Cheers to the Guy in Red

Latest fastfood find with Gaby: Pupung and Friends Pinoy fastfood at the Entertainment Building of the Mall of Asia. It has an appetizing, pocket-friendly, lutong-bahay menu. Must-try: pusit, tuna belly kebab, and buttered togue. Guinumis and breaded bangus are so-so, however.
Remember the comics? Hmm..yup, I'm that old. =)
=================

I just LOVE dolphins.
[Apologies to the animal activists. I respect animal rights. But I just couldn't help not to see them.]
=================

Ramen! Ramen! Ramen! A snack size was enough to boost our chakras. [Watching too much Naruto, I guess.]

*****
Happy birthday, buddy ko! *kugos*

Sipty

*****
12.14.2005. jack's loft-gweilos hop.team's year-ender.
super thanks to trigger happy pia for the pics. =)

Crimson

*****
nanay. a great cook, storyteller, seamstress, and teacher.
april 9, 1924 - december 5, 2005

(eric is right. "it's the little things and the joy they bring...")

November

*****
11.181920.05.
next stop...

**

*****
long sunday. sorry...

Firefly

*****
Chapter Three.
(sorry about the starbucks thing. i should've explained a bit more,
and not just assumed that you had already understood.
anlabo ko minsan no? aynaku...)

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

*

Upshot

"The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing."

I was languidly browsing last Sunday's Philippine Star issue when I stumbled upon this line, which had been borrowed from the book I KISSED DATING GOODBYE.. I almost forgot that I was waiting for my cup of coffee. The thought carried me off a little bit. Soon afterwards, I was recognizing a number of wrong things I bumped into- - including people.

Of course- - timing, it is. But all things considered, some of the wrong timings are blessings in disguise.

*****
it was the wrong thing, broe.
"i don't hate people i understand." there are some instances that you do. wala ka namang choice minsan eh.

Circus

*****
my team. we come in peace. =P

Compromise, Remember?

If you don't want me
to go for something, just tell
me and, most likely,

I won't.

You seem very cautious of
how you're going to
respond especially when

it someway does not
agree with what you feel.

*****
And what you feel counts.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

Draw Lots

until 70?
that would be a bit soon. how about 80?
too old. that would be tough.
still be capable of dribbling a basketball.
relative to the current diet and lifestyle, 80 would be a struggle.
i insist.
70. renewal afterward.
believe me, 80 is a nice number.
...
...
fine. 80 then.

*****
remember the game of chance? all the participants are taken to an expansive forest, blindfolded, and instructed to run as fast and as far as they can. the last man running, wins. that's how we are going to get there. and that's how life is going to get us.

palagay ko, kaya naman. let's just take one lap at a time and strive to keep the trust safely.

Numbered

5 days.
6 projects.
4 mcdo meals and some sandwiches.
3 no-drowse decolgen tablets.
i miss you by incubus. over and over and over again.

*****
long week...=(

Wordplay

We spent it on two Spanish reels--
both have characters professing
"No te quiero mas."

Picking up the phrase saves their lives.
Finishing the sundaes braces ours.

****
Strawberries and chocolates. Chapter Two.

All In

notice the progress we have made. we are good at it, aren't we? no more missed calls and beggings. no more blaming and enmity. no more updates from both sides.

i know i can't speak for you because until now i still don't have any idea of how you have been handling everything. but i hope you have managed.

i had no guts to ask you then. i shoved aside talks about you for the past several months. maybe there was an ounce of guilt. maybe i was embarrassed to stand that it was completely over. maybe i was too cowed to acknowledge that somehow we had failed.

i am so sorry. i already told you this many times.

but six months were enough. things changed, lots of them (though i let them linger for quite sometime). and i have opted to believe that we didn't fail at all. because if we did, it would've taken us a longer time to pull through. because if we did, i wouldn't have trusted someone again the same way i trusted you.

you see, moving on isn't all about letting time sort out everything. it demands individual effort. it is nursing your own wounds, not pampering the pain. it is acceptance. and a choice.

i am fine now. and i hope you are, too.

*****
THANKS,bj.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

Collide

sobrang guts yon ah. i'm impressed.

rewind. three nights ago. that was one of the risky conversations that we had. to top it off, you initiated the whole thing. you said a lot and, at the same time, revealed a lot. i was more of a listener. you were talking about things as if you were only thinking out loud. no holds barred. freeing.

rewind. the night before. may kwento na naman ako. i wasn't sure if the messages were delayed or you found it somehow daunting to react. but the intervals were sufficient for thinking. did i say too much? did i rouse your defenses?

rewind. the past three weeks. more reserved random thoughts. no room for poetry. just exploring.

*****
i am speaking for you speaking of fears.

Chapter One

*****
definitely, worth discovering. and way better than perfect.
balik tayo dun ha buddy? =)

(snapshots of sonya's garden and caleruega church courtesy of community.webshots,
pbase.com/tekgik, caleruega.philippines.com, and viloria.com)

Tried and True

Hand-painted on a navy blue coffee mug is a line by the famed Anonymous:

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over,
it became a butterfly."

I would love to own one and imagine how my day starts with that mug on my hand--
thinking for more casual whims and tossing them around.

You, conversely, would be wondering the same thing. A little embarrassed,
you would be exposing your intimate convictions, vindicating all possibilities, and
exploring more about yourself.

I would be listening to you absorbedly-- throwing side comments from time to time.

And we would keep this habit for as long as we can, not minding if it would never stop.

*****
later... =)

Shun the Peon

2:38 AM. Waiting for anything. Aircondition sound amplifies the boredom. No reply for my sorry. 2:41 AM. Still a blank notepad. No trace of sane words. 2:43 AM. Just got his goodnight text. Arrgggh! Lag again. Darn the networks. 2:46 AM. Rice toppings in the adjacent cube is tempting-- smells like teriyaki-- well-cooked and served hot. Air from that direction tastes very sweet. Teases my stomach, which by now wants to snub my seafood cup noodles, courtesy of 7/11. 2:53 AM. Finally, a progress is coming into view. A paragraph of several phrases, giving its best shots of nonsense at this hour of the day, is emerging. 3:01 AM. Be dead to the world.

*****
Windows Media Player sets to Repeat. Angels or Devils. I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold. Pause. 5:03 AM. Pachelbel's Canon in D Chord. I miss you. Repeat.

Can't wait to go home...

Blogged It

Nag-iisip. Wala kasing magawa, kaya napapa-iisip. Some men have all the luck. For some reason, yan yung nagpi-play sa utak ko kanina habang nag-aabang ng FX. May nami-miss akong isang tao, sarap i-hug. Pag nagti-text ako, I usually spell out the words unless kulang na sa space. Ayoko kaya nung "me" kapalit nung "ako" or "'ko". Irritating sya, basta . Pero yung taglish, nati-take ko na. Parang ganito. Kelangan ko ng caffeine mamayang gabi-- hot and grande of an unfamiliar blend. I'll steal some sleep tonight (hope eric meister won't mind). Care ko kung may 2 kamera sa paligid, di naman ako makikita dun-- strategic location kaya yung cube ko. Nakita ko kanina yung trailer ng Wicker Park sa Star Movies-- hmmm, ang hot ni Josh Hartnett. Gusto ko tuloy panuorin. I like broad shoulders, I can lean on them, sleep on them. Kelangan ko nang mag-MCP exam. Lagot. I badly need a motivation. Ba't kaya may mga EX pa 'no? Why can't we all have or be a current, and stay that way? But I know why. Makulit ba 'ko? Ha? Ha? Ha? Kung oo, eh ano naman ngayon? =D

Ay ang gulo. Pero ganyan ako minsan mag-isip. Random. Hindi structured. Walang definite direction. In short, may kalabuan. Kaya nga mas gusto ko na sinasabi ko agad kase kung hindi, makakalimutan ko kung ano man yon eventually. Tsaka, ngayon ko lang napansin-- taglish din pala 'ko mag-isip. Cool.

Magsusulat dapat ako ng isang magandang haiku pero nauwi ako sa ganito. And come to think of it--- I have no idea why. Anlakas pa ng ulan sa labas. Bad trip, mababasa na naman yung mga paa ko... =(

Your Venus

Cause I will be your force
And I will be your right

And I will be your sword
And I will be your might

And I will be your days
And I will be your nights

And I will watch over you like a satellite.

*****
fragments of collective soul's satellite

Page 89

they meet halfway and,
from there, begin to write the
story they have been
deeming for quite sometime.

"how should we end it?"
he asks, looking at her a
little hesitant
"should we?" she replies, beaming

at him. "no," he says,
"it's supposed to be ceaseless."
she feels the linen,
"so let this be chapter one."

*****
that's what you call a rhetorical question.
=)

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

August

While waiting for the
last rain to fall, the moon peeks
shyly tonight-- stumped,
marveling, and mesmerized.

***
Swept away...

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

"don't get a grip. slide.." - harinawa

...lakbay tayo kahit san.
=)

*****
sana tayo na. sana lang yun ha? sana...
just stay.

*****
sana, one day..we can go on a trip..
di naman corny yun ah...we'll do that.

*****
kwentuhan ulit tayo bukas... tulungan mo 'ko magkwento buddy ha?
ako rin may kwento. =)

Blow

last shift, broe and i had this nice chat about an issue he's currently in. and no matter how hard we both tried to make the conversation as light as possible, truth still turned up bittersweet.

broe: wala na kasi itong tolerance sa mga sabit sabit sa mga relasyon e. parang gusto na ngang kumawala. ayoko nga! i always say to her na kaya pa yan!

===

me: you only have one shot at destiny *or whatever you call it*
broe: maganda yan!
me: di maganda yun..totoo yun

===

broe: e pano kung barahin nya ko, sabihin nya i blew it?
me: naku..wag mo sabihin yon sa kanya
me: parang you're threatening her
broe: ang sagot ko jan, if u say i blew it, then im succesful. shots are intended to blow something di ba? hahahaha
me: naku...ewan ko lang ha
broe: sige di ko nlng sasabihin

===

broe: alam mo
broe: kung sakaling hindi kami, parang feeling ko ang dali dali ko ng magmahal. ganda ng training ko e!

===

me: and you know what..all love stories are almost the same
me: nasa sayo na kung pano mo gagawan ng "twist"
broe: nako jan ako magaling, sa twist
broe: ay twisted ata sa kin

===

broe: kung effort lang sis, puntos hakot tlaga
broe: kaso rito, isang scratch lang tapos ang laro e
broe: back to zero
me: that's sad..but what makes it worse is that it really happens
me: ganon talaga..
broe: hahaha! true that it happens. not true that it's sad
broe: i find 'ganon tlaga' things funny
me: i mean, yung "isang scratch lang..."
broe: oo yun nga. kakatawa
me: yun yung sad kse may limit na agad
broe: na kahit anong hirap, a miniscule mistake ruins it. do u find dis eksena funny? a deck of cards na ginawang astig na castle tapos biglang bumagsak coz of just a piece? i do. parang ganon
broe: ang consuelo nlng dun e kahit papano it was achived o almost there
me: funny ba yon..
me: di kaya but i like the parallelism
broe: if you look at it outside d box it is. pero kung hindi mo aalisin sarili mo, talo ka
me: and the thing is.. lagi kasama sarili mo
broe: for that part, matter of perspective nlng tlaga magse-save sa sanity mo

*****

broe, sorry naka-broadcast. malaman kse yung mga sinabi mo-- lalo na yung theory mo sa astig na castle. =)

update: one day after the chat, nasira na completely yung astig na castle...=(

The Catcher

I am way stronger than my fear.


*******
My WHAT IF simply tries to answer your HOW.
Nothing to worry about. =)

...

I'm halfway there, no-- almost there.

Chasing Dragonflies

what's your favorite scent?
is it citrus, floral, fruity, or earthy?
i don't know. but i love this one (kisses her left hand that rests on his left shoulder)

*****

what kind of holding hands do you prefer? (tries to demonstrate each hold)
you see, we hold our hands in 3 different ways.
it depends on whose hand i'm going to hold.
mine.
ahh, i love this one (envelopes her left hand with his right hand)
why?
most convenient (slightly lifts up her left hand and rests his right cheek on it)

*****

she loves the way he's being swept away... =)

Moonwalk 2

Her thought of walking around the UP acad oval is all about staring at the sky and observing patterns of leaves or looking at the ground and skipping uneven contours or textures of bricks. The people she meets are merely postscript to the challenge of getting to her supposed destination. Time is always watching. And the weather matters a lot.

But that was before.

****

Lately, the walk is more on appreciating almost every detail in the sky and making an effort to step into each crappy layer of stones and intimidating manhole designed on the road. The presence of people becomes apparent, as if it completes a landscape painting. Time passes by unnoticed. And the weather is consoling, no matter what it is.

****

The unhurried changes are heartening as she notices that her hand perfectly rests on his hand. It looks right, feels right. The clasp is beyond compare-- like sealing a two-piece puzzle. No place is safer than this, she muses. Then he smiles, as if he has been listening to her mind. Or maybe, just maybe, she is holding his heart.

****

Still wondering why the sky is blue?

Strumming the G Chord

"ang himbing mong managinip, ang sarap-sarap mong umidlip."
Paulit-ulit lang yung kanta. Napansin ko, ok na pala tayo.***"Where fools rush in, the two of you are standing back,
watching them and smiling..."
i'm not really into friendster horoscope-- but i let this one pass.

Freefalling

The tempest is gone.
Stay, let's wait for a shooting star.

Moonwalk

"Namatay na pala si Sin..." I was surprised when you said that all of a sudden. "Ngayon mo lang ba nalaman?" I asked, still wondering, as we walked inside the UP chapel. "Matagal na, kaso parang di lang kse natin napag-usapan." Hmmm, good point. We missed out that one. Pano nangyari yun-- we talk about almost everything? I was trying to snatch a valid excuse when the mass started. My thought was just in time: maybe we were too busy talking about something else when it happened. =)

******
thanks sa stress ball. at sa melon-banana smoothies.
at sa sizzling pusit. at sa stay. nga pala, don't worry too much.
sabi ko naman syo, just let things happen.

Translation 101

COWARDICE (kower-dis) n. - (1) The fear of hurting and making someone hate you for telling the truth. (2) The fear of starting all over again. (3) Deciding to stay only because you think you're safe with what you've already had. (4) Opposite of guts.

*****
I watched CLOSER. Reality pierced. OUCH.

Kwentuhan Na

blessing in disguise yon, buddy. para kasing nakisama lahat.
wala sya sa plano, but the timing was perfect.
peak hours na yon, but that crowded place still had vacant seats.
kahit nga yung ulan pinagbigyan tayo.

it was really meant to happen.

*****
thanks for the coffee. the best.

"Why can't you see me like I see you? Can't you feel me like I feel you?"

She borrowed his pen
to put a period on their
last conversation.
The moment he saw it, he
added two more dots---

and said

"THIS is worth a better ending."

*****

thanks to sponge cola
for letting them chase the dragonfly.

Crash Pad

Mid-May.

The late-lazy-afternoon setting was perfect for a stroll or whatever (I imagined Zhang Yimou or Robert Zemeckis grinning for yet another breathtaking film finale).

Two kids playing distracted my already restrained contemplation. One of them was sitting on a wooden swing while the other was pushing it. They went on and on, taking turns in what it seemed like the ride of their lives. Kids.

I was ready to veer my engrossment to another scenery when their game was cut short. It looked like one of them had given the other a harder push. The boy on the swing grappled in reaching for the rope and keeping hold of the wood. The girl, on the other hand, frantically chased the rope, which by then had been swaying away from her as if feeling the sky. Panic reflected on her eyes but, just like before, she managed to give him an assuring look that everything would be fine. At length, everything simmered down. The two continued playing as if nothing had happened.

I caught myself wondering-- no, wanting. Wanting for us to be just like them.

And how I wished I could be like her--
so that I could still push your swing
no matter what
until you touch the stars.

*****
senti mode na naman, hehe. pero seryoso,
when the wall breaks down,
it's hard to find something to hold on to.
yun lang.

Closure

Then, they forgot the small things.

Decaf

The coffee has been unappealing lately.
I'm not so sure whether it's because of less sugar or less talk.

*****
here we go again.

Sand-castle Fate

Their stories begin

To moderate your sadness

As sudden gap in

Bareness takes place and lets you

Sway to the tune and

Momentarily evade.

*****
"My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave..."

Serenade

I’m listening to our song.

But, sadly, with him.

What's my Score?

Hi there, BIG GUY.

It's been more than a year now. I guess, I've lost in touch with you. I'm embarrassed, very embarrassed. Remember the list I wrote? I think, if we're going to rate my performance, I failed without a doubt. And I don't want to go through the details because I know it will only take me so far.

But you know what? Despite the bundle of shortcomings I've done, my heart has still that reserved space for you. I maybe a lousy performer but I've been trying to improve every single day. I guess, the criteria I've set for myself aren't enough. That they need polishing. That I need to demand myself for more.

I'm getting there, don't you worry.

*****************

A faith refresher. Some extra effort.

One Day

You will miss holding my hand,
Wonder where I am,
And feel so sorry that you
Let it all happened.

The Story of a Fish and a Bird

Version 1:

"If a bird loves a fish, where would they live? Who gets the fins and who loses the wings?"

Version 2:

"If a fish falls in love with a bird, could they live together? Could one fly with fins? Could one remove its wings? How pathetic…love can’t change what’s not meant to be."

Version 3:

Let's say a bird and a fish fall for each other. Let's say one learns to fly with fins or the other learns to remove its wings. Then, they live together and, somehow, get use to it. But could they really last? For how long would that be?

What if the bird suddenly misses its wings and craves for the sky? What if the fish realizes that it's losing its breath and the need to dive?

Or what if the weather changes and their adaptive capabilities are not enough?

Could they still turn back? Is it possible for them to meet halfway? Would they give it another try?

*****

Hey, time to think. We're losing too much air.

The Swan Song

"I'm no angel to you
I have broken my wings
Flying for you
And I'm no angel it's true
I'd trade in my halo
Just to save you..."

********
What's next?

His Scion Sleeps

After finally finding his niche, he was supposed to start a new diversion. Watching clouds and studying their shapes on top of every skycraper that he plans to build. But since not all of us are capable of being genuinely good and staying human, his blueprints gradually collapsed right before his eyes. Everybody knows how much he pleaded. Sadly, the effort fell on closed ears and stoned heart.

He's been fighting for a week now. Bravely.

*****

My HS batchmate and a friend was shot last Saturday. I'm not yet sure how many bullets came out. But the only things that has been keeping his heart pumping up to this day are the breathing apparatus and the voices of the people who care for him.

The person who pulled the trigger is still at large. Hope he'll meet his match SOON.

Stained Ink on Linen

She begins to draw the line,
Heedfully, as if carving

A very refined figure,

A few moments right before

He decides to return from

A long walk and when he gets

There, he marvels about it,

Touching every inch of the streak

A force smile marks her face

A begging glance reflects his

Dream is nearing its end.

*****
Countdown sets off.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

It Should Have Been This Way

Seeing more out of less.

Considering despite doubts.

Choosing density over convenience.

Waiting whilst moving on.

Flying as you fall.

*****

But...