Halo-halo Espesyal

Stupid question #1: Posible bang maka-experience ng midlife crisis ang taong wala pa sa midlife?
Parang hindi, ano? Sobrang aga pa naman para magkaroon ako ng midlife crisis. Pero feeling ko andun ako sa stage na yun. Para akong pinaghalong Bob at Charlotte ng Lost in Translation. May gustong marating, pero di alam kung saan. May gustong mangyari, pero di alam kung pano gagawin.

Ewan ko ba. Sa batch namin, ako na lang ata yung walang definite plan. Lahat sila seryoso na sa buhay. Bakit, seryoso din naman ako ah? Yun nga lang, ibang level. Mas mababaw. Short-termed yung goals. Halimbawa: sila, nagi-ipon na para sa house rent at iba pang bills; ako eto-- nagi-iipon para sa isang Prince badminton racket, Canon SLR digital camera, at studio lighting setup. Yung iba married na yung status sa friendster, ako constantly changing from in a relationship to open relationship to single and so on and so forth. Get the picture?

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Stupid question # 2: May advantage ba talaga pag may specific plan?

Di rin obvious, no?

Nung isang hapon, sinama ako ng bestfriend ko sa isang seminar sa AIM. INTER-ED, study abroad thingy. Interesting naman. Actually, tempting would be the right term. After nung event, tinanong ako ng bestfriend ko: "So, what do you think? Ano, gusto mo next year?" Whoah. Ang bilis naman nyang mag-decide! Next year?! Parang kaka-grad ko lang last year, tapos aral na naman? And for the nth time, may nag-question na naman sa masterplan ko sa buhay. Mag-e-MBA daw ba ko. May plan ba ko mag-work abroad. Kelan na raw ba talaga kami magsi-settle down ng boyfriend ko. *Whew* Do I really have to answer those things in one breath? As in, now na?

As usual, dinaan ko na naman sa biro. "I'm too young for that." Enjoy muna 'ko sa pagiging 20-something, yuppie, coffee-addict, and single. And besides, I'm only turning 24 (but look much younger than that...pramis) this year. So what's the rush? Pero, feeling ko di ko sya na-convince.
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Stupid question # 3: Umiikot lang ba talaga ang cycle?

Anlabo. Pero di nga, ba't ganon? Ba't kelangan ba nating sumabay sa trend? Ba't kelangang pareho yung pagdadaan nating cycle? Na kesyo sa ganitong age dapat ganun na yung nagawa mo. Di naman sa kino-contest ko yung idea, pero magkakaiba naman tayo ng pacing? Parang sa inuman. Kahit isa lang yung size ng shot glass at isang tao lang yung tumatagay, may tinatamaan agad at meron namang nabibitin. Magkakaiba yung level of tolerance natin. Same thing with our contentment level. Eh anong magagawa ko kung mababaw lang kaligayahan ko? Kahit nga yung definition ng happy, simple lang para sa 'kin. Something that makes me smile. Brief, literal, corny. Walang stunning words.

Ang punto ko...kelangan bang magkaron ako ng punto? Dapat ba may sense lahat? Kelangan bang may thesis statement itong pinagsusulat ko dito? Ewan.

Kidding aside, simple lang ang punto ko: kanya-kanya lang yan.


*****
Hindi lahat ng pwede, dapat. Hindi lahat ng dapat, pwede. What of it? Wala lang.

Beating the Red Light

There's a recurring movie in my mind. The opening scene is always a long shot of a woman, in her early 20's, running in slow-mo. The setting is somewhat indistinct. All I can see is a series of horizontal uneven lines, which indicate that the whole thing happens in fast pace. Everything is captured using a wide lens and in high contrast. She seems composed but her eyes reflect ambiguities. She is either running away from or chasing something, I'm not really sure. I hardly guess where she comes from or is heading to. The running scene plays occasionally. Sometimes, it is even accompanied by an unfamiliar music, which I believed has emo-punk influence. I know, there are more significant events that happen before and after that particular scene. The previous one would be the cause, the succeeding its effect. This scene is just a time lapse. But why am I stuck with it?

*****
ang labo mo...

Theory of Relativity

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the tip of his pen
finally touches the silver ink
and the paper assents
to listen to his song,
she leaves, still unaware
of the lines that talk only of her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*****
Is she in a hurry? Or, are you just too late?

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

Puzzles

My hand does not seem
to fit with anyone's.
Although, it has tried to find
its perfect match.

Some have soft grip,
causing mine to easily detach.
Others grab too much,
leaving sour mark and scars.

Now I'm wondering---
how would it feel like with yours?
Where will your hold fall?
And until when?

*****
I'm not asking for a perfect hand,
just the right one.